The Widow and Her Coins

Money is a tricky thing. It's a difficult subject to bring up with people. Whether you're discussing how they've spent their money, giving them money, or asking for money, it's a very sensitive subject. I feel like it is one of the most universally sensitive subjects. This is why I hate fundraising for my mission trip. I feel like I've asked so many people for money; some have responded very generously, some have responded not as generously as they could; while some have not responded at all. I take no offense to anyone belonging to the latter of these groups. It's not my money, I respect anyone's desire to spend their money how they'd like. What has really shocked me however is those who give beyond what is asked. I have never known such a rich outpouring of blessings before in such a real way as I know now. I have received money from people who really couldn't but still made room in their budget. Their kindness is greatly appreciated and will always be remembered. I will also never forget those who gave out of their abundance, for that is a blessing for me and for you. But let me share one of the greatest blessing I have received during this fundraising process.

Some people who raise money for mission trips belong to large churches with great budgets and large pockets and have little trouble reaching the goal. I am not one of those. My church at home runs about 50-60 and is made up of middle-class citizens. My church at school runs about 30 and is made up of retired farmers. Not much to draw from. Yet my college church, a source I almost dismissed because I thought it to be futile, has blown me away with its givings. I decided to go ahead and at least talk to my pastor from there, the chair of the history department at Olivet. He said he would talk to the church during their next community meeting and ask. He mentioned they had funds set aside for this sort of thing, and that they wouldn't take an offering, just draw from that fund. This was about a month ago that I talked to him and various things have happened since. Two more college students that attend that church are going on mission trips. Though they also were not going to ask that church for money, the church found out and gave no option but that funds would be given. They called a special meeting a few weeks ago and we found out today how things are sizing up. This tiny church full of people with children to assist, grandchildren to spoil, and medical bills to pay, has given beyond what is required. They basically emptied out their checking account of all but was necessary to give to us. This is about $2000. But knowing there are 3 of us going on trips, they decided that wasn't enough. They have started collecting offerings from the church members and have added another $1500 to that. The money will be split 2 ways, half for me and half for the other 2 (my trip costs about twice as much). This means I am receiving $1750 from this church. This church which I almost wrote off as a waste of time for fundraising. I didn't know any of their financial situations. For all I knew they were all in poverty. How could I ask them for money? How could I beg them to stretch their funds to assist my trip - me, someone they've only known for less than a whole school year. Why would I even expect them to want to help me?

Now I'm learning to ask, "why would I want to keep someone from worshiping God with their money?" Money is indeed a touchy subject, but mostly because we make it so. We're so sensitive, so scared of losing it (I fall overwhelmingly into this category), and yet the blessings that are shared all around when money is given and received with loving and cheerful hearts is so far beyond anything hoarding money can ever give.

I used to be embarrassed to tithe. In fact, I've never given in check but only in cash so no one could monitor how much my 10% really is. I never saw my tithe as really worth that much because I felt it couldn't really go that far. Half way through this fundraising process I made a decision that I would keep on tithing no matter where I was or how much money I had. If I was going to ask people to share their wealth with me, I should share my wealth with my church(es). This has been an amazing experience. I am still a long way from releasing my fears of debt and poverty, but I'm slowly releasing all of this. And now I know that God really does provide. I know it's cliche, but when things like this happen that just blow your mind away, all you can conclude is that God provides. I get a little emotional every week when I get my balance statement with the list of donations. Whether the gift is $25.00 or $500, I am moved by the generosity of everyone who's given monetarily. Yet, I know all of this is a great result of prayer. The prayers offered up by friends and family have been just as appreciated as the money. I know those prayers are there and I know they're making a difference.

"Sitting across from the offering box, Jesus was observing how the crowd tossed money in for the collection. ... One poor widow came up and put in two small coins—a measly two cents. Jesus called his disciples over and said, "The truth is that this poor widow gave more to the collection than all the others put together. All the others gave what they'll never miss; she gave extravagantly what she couldn't afford—she gave her all." -Mark 12:41-44

Thank you for giving

My Obsession

It clouds my thoughts throughout most of every evening. It is something I barter for and will make room for in my schedule no matter what the sacrifice. It's something people have noted as a great love in my life that they realize gets priority over any conflict. It's something I gave up a little of for Lent because I knew that would be a sacrifice for me.

No, it's not Grey's Anatomy.

No, it's not my boyfriend.

What is it? It's sleep. I am obsessed with sleeping. This may be a surprise to some people, as I'm not one to take naps ever or sleep the whole day through (though my parents may argue otherwise). But I am one to go to bed as soon as I get a chance to. Yes, I make exceptions and will stay up late with friends sometimes. Yet, on an average week night at college, I am in bed between 11 and 12. And with nothing before 9:00 am any given day of the week, you can guess how much sleep I get. Then the weekend comes. However, with Lent this year I decided that I was getting too obsessed with sleep and was getting more than I needed to. I know, I know, what kind of college student am I? (I also don't procrastinate. I sometimes feel a little left out of the crowd because of these two qualities) So I decided I would not get more than 9 hours of sleep a night. That may seems like a lot of sleep still and that I'm not sacrificing much, but college students actually should get between 8.5 and 9.5 hours of sleep a night to fully function. 9 hours is the easiest to figure within that range. This cuts out sleeping in on the weekends, sleeping in when I don't have class till 11, and going to bed early if I'm tired.

The latter is what applies to my current situation. I've had a tiring day including a hard test, a nasty headache, a group project meeting, a work out session, and a heavy backpack carried around on my back for 9 hours (ask my friends, I definitely have the heaviest backpack around). I'm tired, I'm done with my homework for the day, I have a big day tomorrow, and all I can think about is how nice it would be to be in bed right now. I've actually been thinking about it since about 9:00. But if I go to bed now, I have to get up at 7:30. Though this is tempting to do so I can get an early start for my homework tomorrow, I know my body will not be willing to get up at 7:30 if it doesn't have to.

The problem that I've found with my Lent sacrifice is that I've become more obsessed. I'm constantly counting the hours to figure out the absolute best time to go to bed to get the max 9 hours. I've probably gotten an overall higher average of sleep during this time than I have previously because I refuse to stay up late when I know I can't "make up" the hours another night. My roommates hold a different sleeping pattern too, which makes all of this interesting. The most extreme opposite of them is the go to bed at 3am, get up at 3pm on the weekends, and they both take daily naps. I don't have time for naps; plus I don't really know how to account for them in my 9 hour scheme.

John and I were doing devotions together this past week and we were reading the passage where Paul talks about all of the horrible things he's been through (shipwrecks, beatings, stoning, jail time, etc) and toward the end of the passage he says, "I have labored and toiled and have often gone without sleep..." As soon as we read that I said, "Oh man, I could not do that!" Why is it that of all the things, going without sleep is the one thing that would push me beyond the limits? Really, I meant the combination of all those things, and then on top of that not getting any sleep that would be so difficult to me. Still, that is absurd that sleep rules my life that much.

I think why sleep is so important to me is because it is not only my physical and mental recuperation, it is also my social recuperation. As a borderline extrovert/introvert, I'm basically an extrovert during the day and an introvert during the night. Generally past 10:30 I'm not really able to be civil if my buttons are pushed at all. I'm not able to tolerate annoyances or silliness or groups of people. I get in this "I will do everything required of me to get me to bed as soon as possible, but nothing more" mode when I go little beyond politeness toward everyone who doesn't understand this mode. Those that understand, I depend on and can hold conversations with. To those that don't, I become terse and quiet. When my social side is done, I want sleep, and it's very discouraging to me to not get it. It's not really sleep itself even, it's being by myself in a warm comfortable place, being in the dark, and not having to think about anything in particular or talk to anyone.

My question is: what am I going to do in Africa if I can't get enough sleep? I don't really need 9 hours of sleep all the time; that's fine. 7 will do for me for awhile. But what will I do to these people who are mostly community-centered and family-centered and probably aren't selfish about their sleeping habits like I am? What if I'm with a team full of extroverts? My profile personality test they gave me told me I was an extrovert that avoided being alone at all costs. I'm really tempted to send them an email telling them that's not true. I even tricked the personality test into thinking I was a through and through extrovert. This may be a problem. This may be another way God will push me to the limits. I don't know how many limits can be pushed if I don't have enough sleep time though. Hmm.

Well, it's 11 now. I think it's my bed time. G'night all. :)